i drankz ur tequilas: 2006

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Tequila: Have you hugged your toilet today?

Well, I thought it was a toilet, but it was really the kitchen sink.

Tequila and drinking quotes

"Eggnog, who thought that one up? 'I wanna get a lil drunk, but I also want some pancakes.' You know what eggnog really is, your not gonna wanna hear it but I'll tell ya, it's elf cum, you might as well pour it down your back and slap your self on the ass. But I dont wanna tell you how to live your life. Do what you do." - Dave Attell

"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila." -Mitch Ratliffe

"They speak of my drinking but never think of my thirst" - Scottish Proverb

Two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline

"We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon." - Raoul Duke in the movie/book Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

Fuck Wheaties. This is the breakfast of champions.

Three Amigos drink tequila

Jefe: We have many beautiful piñatas for your birthday celebration, each one filled with little surprises!
El Guapo: How many piñatas?
Jefe: Many piñatas, many!
El Guapo: Jefe, would you say I have a plethora of piñatas?
Jefe: A what?
El Guapo: A plethora.
Jefe: Oh yes, El Guapo. You have a plethora.
El Guapo: Jefe, what is a plethora?
Jefe: Why, El Guapo?
El Guapo: Well, you just told me that I had a plethora, and I would just like to know if you know what it means to have a plethora. I would not like to think that someone would tell someone else he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has no idea what it means to have a plethora.
Jefe: El Guapo, I know that I, Jefe, do not have your superior intellect and education, but could it be that once again, you are angry at something else, and are looking to take it out on me?